Tough Selling

When I blasted the e-mail about TWICE being published to 550+ people, and the Facebook Page invite to 600+, I figured a good percentage of them would buy it. Regardless of the quality of the content, memoirs are inherently interesting, especially when you personally know the author. Hamburgers and I likened it to a snotty girl from our high school who lacked basic writing skills, but if she were to write a memoir, then we’d still buy it.

When I got the feeling that few people were buying from my book’s website, I accommodated.

I visited former doctors and nurses at National Institutes of Health, where I received treatment for my first cancer ten years ago. I took three hours out of my work day and dealt with the insane security measures at NIH, which are somehow more intense than they used to be. I enjoyed spending time with those folks, but was surprised when most—including doctors who are actually in the book—didn’t purchase it.

I am not suggesting that anyone is obligated to buy my book simply because they know me, or because I make factual claims like, “My book will save the world, or, “It will change your life.” I would never instruct anyone how to spend his money. Is my book too pricey in this rough economy? Do people assume my book is not legitimate? Do people no longer read?*

I then offered to personally deliver my book to friends in the Northern Virginia area. I hounded people on Facebook and Google chat, and with texts and phone calls. I wanted to approach the line of being terribly obnoxious without crossing it. This time I succeeded and began bringing joy to book lovers young and old (though, I likely trampled on my obnoxious line).

I met friends in Woodbridge and Manassas to watch football games, and even drove from my apartment in Arlington to the Vienna metro station during afternoon rush hour to deliver one copy. He felt bad and ended up buying two. This may all sound silly, but I view my time and money far less valuably as getting my book out into the world.

I feel like I’m taking an on-the-job crash course in sales and marketing. It can be frustrating how publications and bookstores outright ignore me (a response of “No thanks” or “Not interested” would be better than nothing). But it’s also exciting, and I am up for the challenge. I have a product that customers seem to really be enjoying, but this may be a slow process at first that relies more on word-of-mouth. This I promise: I will never quit until it becomes crystal clear that nobody wants to read my book.

Happy reading.

*My friend, Greek, joked that he had never read a whole book until he finished mine in four days. JD joked that he didn’t know how to read, but finished my book in a week.
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The Great Orator

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Dudes of Cancer: Monsieur October