Fitty

"I'm not used to paying for shit." — Benjamin Rubenstein

A couple weeks ago I moved out of my parents' house and into a townhouse with PepperoniNip. My first purchase (with a significant birthday and Hanukah contribution from my family) was a necessity, an item every home must have no matter the household income or level of neighborhood thievery, something arguably more critical than food or water or shelter: a 50 inch, 1080p resolution, 30,000:1 native contrast ratio Panasonic plasma television with deep black levels and brilliant color.
I will really miss banking 90% of my paycheck while I lived virtually for free with my parents. I just hope I can maintain a 30% savings rate. If I can't then my status as a Jew may be revoked.