Last year I went on an amazing rock-climbing trip through the organization First Descents (FD), which you can read about
here and especially
here. A few weeks ago I climbed in Estes Park, Colorado, again through FD. I have written a far more thoughtful story about this FD2 trip which will be published somewhere at some time in the semi-near future, but in the meantime I offer my trip in cool pictures and terrible captions:
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| Welcome to the Rocky Mountains, so overwhelming and humbling and spectacular. |
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| Our beautiful lodge, Overlook Ranch, had an 18-hole frisbee golf course, but only had two bathrooms for the nine female and two male participants. Tbar and I showered real quick for the sake of our safety. |
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| The FD staff and volunteers had arrived the day before us. My boy and one of the camp's lead staffers, Pedro, busted his scalp on the zipline (yes, seven-year-olds can grow mustaches) and the FD doctor, McSteamy, stitched Pedro using his hair. A "no zipline rule" was implemented thereafter. |
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| Poison, the head chef, and I schemed when we would break the rule and use the zipline. We two rebels became fast friends. |
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| Mission accomplished, caught red-handed. |
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| The view from Overlook Ranch. And hey, worst-case is there's always nature as a bathroom. |
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| It is up in the air whether we frisbee-golfed or rock-climbed more... |
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...Seriously. I was one of the worst golfers at first, but I dropped my score from 57 to 43 in consecutive games on our last day. I'm confident I can eventually match McNuggets. I can match Pedro only if he busts his skull first. He's good.
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| Pedro threw a dance party in his SUV wherever we went, thanks to Aimster the Gangster's playlist. McCreepy knows all the words to everything. I don't know about you, but he's feeling 22. I recorded him dancing to Taylor Swift like the maniac he is, but I either lost it or McHacker deleted it. |
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| There was some rock-climbing, too, including in the cold rain. Cancer People don't mess around when it comes to popping pills, watching 50/50 and rock-climbing. |
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| KMac also doesn't mess around when it comes to reading. KMac ain't got no time to belay other climbers. |
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| I climbed in a hula skirt, an award I earned. I didn't mind showing off what was under the skirt. |
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| I also didn't mind McSneaky giving me a butt-boost on the most challenging route of the trip. |
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| I failed that route from two different approaches, and depleted my energy before the day was half over. If my hula skirt were a cape here then Soulja Boy would need to rethink his definition of The Superman. |
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| I envy Dealer's actual cape and Superman impersonation. |
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| I completed every climb besides the 5.9+ route shown above, in part thanks to my most frequent belayer, Pumba. |
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| Pumba was the camp photog. She got artistic here, capturing the ropes on our "graduation day" multi-pitch, five-hour climb. |
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| Princess, the camp's "general support," generally supported us really well. I've never met an FDer whose nickname was more fitting. Just kidding, Princess...well, generally. |
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| My multi-pitch team was psyched before our graduation day climb: "Bailey's Overhang" at Boulder Canyon in Nederland, Colorado. From left to right: S'mores, Hippy (me), Tbar, Pumba and Author (our guide). |
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| Many of us performed unique climbing moves that were then named after our nicknames. This is me performing "The Princess." I don't know how I got my hipless leg on the wall like that, but it worked. Sadly, "The Princess" was not successful for Princess. She is bitter that her move was named after an unsuccessful effort. On the other hand, "The Hippy," which was basically a shimmy using just my stomach, worked. Sorry, Princess...generally. |
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| After completing the third pitch, four-and-a-half hours into my climb, I had to rest from 250 feet above the ground. This was among my most incredible views, challenges and days, and you will be able to read about this soon. |
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| My team was the last atop Boulder Canyon, two hours later than the team that arrived earliest. The group wanted a photo. My priority was devouring the soggy, smushed, and then-delicious tuna salad sandwich. |
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| Ahh, a better group photo. |
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| FD2 Estes Park, July 2013: one of the best weeks of my life. Goddamn I love that organization and rock-climbing. |
