Girls of Cancer: Miss June

Kylie Minogue

Crikey is Australian-born Kylie Minogue attractive, despite how annoying her 2002 smash hit “Can’t Get You out of My Head” was. Though I hadn’t heard of her until seven years ago, Kylie reached fame in Australia in the late ‘80s with her role in a soap opera, and then as a singer. Kylie has sold over 60 million records and has a bronze statue in Melbourne, Australia, which is bowed to by horny teenage boys.

Some of Kylie’s critics say she is a terrible singer, and that she uses her fame, revealing costumes, and sex symbol-status to cover up her lack of talent. I can’t agree or disagree—the few times I caught part of the boring and highly unpopular show American Idol I thought singers were good when the panel claimed that they sucked. I do think Kylie’s music sucks though I’m also not her target audience. I was her target audience seven years ago when I considered purchasing a plane ticket to Melbourne, as well as a small rug to protect my knees on the concrete.

Kylie was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. Kylie and the local Australian government went to great lengths to keep her situation private, but through extensive research (two websites, neither credible) it appears that Kylie underwent the full range of treatment: surgery, chemotherapy in France, and radiation. She reportedly compared chemotherapy to experiencing a nuclear bomb, which is the same thing women say about copulation with American Idol’s William Hung.

At forty-one years old, Kylie is still gorgeous and successful. She has an upcoming album and will appear in the biggest budget Bollywood film ever made. If you look hard enough you can find young American men facing Melbourne during prayer.